Boosting Your Self - Esteem Why? and How?

mental wellness

My History With Self - Esteem:

Put it into simple words I had none. I suffered from low self - esteem for as long as I could remember. I saw my worth through the eyes of the people around me. I was scared to show my scars so evidently I covered them up. Furthermore, I was scared to be who I was because I wanted to be accepted and loved...

Self - esteem is how you see yourself, how you feel about yourself, the respect you give to yourself and the respect you expect others to give you. It is what determines how you view the way the world perceives you. 

In my case I was quite the pushover. I felt that the people around me only paid attention to me when I was doing something that helped them. I was what you call a traditional people pleaser. The way I saw myself was not positive, my self - talk was negative, I kept telling myself that good things don't last and that I was not good enough to be loved. I suffered from what the professionals call it low self - esteem. 

Three Types of Self - Esteem:

There are three types of self - esteem inflated, low and high self - esteem.

Inflated self - esteem are individuals who think that they are better than others and underestimate the people around them. They suffer from toxic positivity that is driven by this constant need of competition. They link their happiness with success and achievement 

Low self - esteem on the other hand are individuals who do not value themselves at all. They have very little trust and a lot of insecurities. Unlike people with inflated self - esteem these individuals suffer from toxic negativity, they tend to see everything as the "glass half empty." Failure is a fear that holds them back from different opportunities. These individuals can have moments of euphoria but can quickly sabotage it when one bad thing happens. Individuals with low self - esteem will have opinions but are easily influenced by others therefore, not staying true to their own values and core beliefs. 

High self - esteem is the goal it is healthy self - esteem. These individuals stay true to their core values and beliefs. They see failure as a lesson rather than internalizing it as shame. These individuals have healthy coping mechanisms and are able to cope with stressful situations. Having high self - esteem is a positive indication of good mental health and well - being.

Why is it important to be aware of your self - esteem?

When you suffer from low self - esteem it shows up in various aspects of your adulthood. You will find yourself trying to find happiness through external sources when it truly needs to come from within. Where you are with your self - esteem determines your ability to build and sustain meaningful relationships. It affects your likelihood to grab opportunities and how you take rewards and compliments. Suffering from low self - esteem increases your risk of depression, chronic stress, risky behaviors and low confidence. 

On the other side if you suspect that you are an individual who has inflated self - esteem then it might be a good time to take a look in the mirror and ask yourself "am I a narcissist?" When you have an inflated self - esteem there is nothing beyond yourself in other words you may have a tendency to be arrogant. The conversation has to be about you, the lime light has to be on you, and you always have to come up on top. What are the downsides here? We'll just like low self - esteem building meaningful relationships becomes difficult. You will find yourself more isolated which can put you at risk for mental health challenges such as depression and anxiety. 

Having a healthy self - esteem is vital! It means your value yourself and see the world as a positive place to be in which is extremely important to live a happy and successful life. 

 Let's talk how to boost your self - esteem: 

The first thing you need to look at is your self - talk. Are you speaking to yourself with kindness and compassion? Or are you being hard on yourself and indulging in shame and guilt every time something goes wrong? Furthermore, reflect on the importance you give your physical appearance, is your worth based on how you look or the person you are inside? 

Boosting your self - esteem is a hard but rewarding choice. One that you have to make every single day. You have to learn to value yourself and find yourself deserving of positive health and well - being. You also need to make the difficult choice everyday of challenging negative thoughts and feelings and replacing it with positive ones that you may not believe in the moment but eventually will not only believe it but make it a part of your everyday life. 

Practice gratitude everyday and stop focusing on what you do not have and pay attention to everything you do have. 

Learn to accept compliments! Now this can be a hard one for those of you who have dealt with low self - esteem. You are deserving of compliments and there is nothing wrong with hearing it this is a great way to start building your self - esteem.